Double Breasted

on February 27, 2010 in Misc

A postscript about the blog below: Notice something odd about the photo of Jennifer Garner? The one that shows her as a blonde wearing a tight blue dress. Look closely at her chest. Okay, guys, you can stop staring now.

She’s got a double set of boobs.

Yup, she’s got four. Count ‘em. Two below and two right on top of the others. It’s a boo-boo Alias’s wardrobe queen – or whatever the job title is – should have caught before Jennifer stepped before the camera. It’s also a common phenomenon for which there are only two (of course) known causes:

a) a very large-chested woman is wearing a bra that’s too (two?) small and doesn’t fit well and thus cuts her boobies into upper and lower bulges; or

b) a smaller-breasted woman is wearing a push-up bra or tight dress with too much built-in “bra shelf” padding, thus pushing the real breasts upwards while the tightness of the dress simultaneously pushes the padding outwards.

I believe answer b explains Jennifer’s double breasted problem in this scene.

So let this be a lesson to all us would-be action heroes: when dressing to impress the bad guys we’re up against (literally or metaphorically), we must never forget to first give ourselves a critical look in the mirror. If you’re female and seeing double and not because of the martinis you’re sipping, then it’s time to rethink your wardrobe. And if you’re a man and notice you’ve got an extra set of something, you probably shouldn’t go out in public.

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