Wigging Out

on April 13, 2015 in Misc

Remember how I was planning to stalk someone?

My target was Cruella deVil (without the fashion sense), who was scheduled to be one of the speakers at a lawyers’ conference.  So I took a couple hours off from work, walked the couple blocks to the hotel where it was held, and mingled with the small horde of attendees.

DI still

I knew I would blend in because a) I was wearing dark clothes of a nondescript nature without a speck of pastel or interesting touch (these were attorneys, after all); 2) I tamed my reddish mess of curls into a dull bob; and c) I slipped on my reading glasses and frequently checked papers in the leather binder I was carrying.

No one gave me a second glance.  I was accepted as one of them.

That much was easy.  The bad news is… CRUELLA NEVER SHOWED UP!  It seemed she was out sick.  Very, very, deathly sick, I hope, after disappointing me like that.

Anyway, I’ve already stepped up my disguise game by buying, just today, A WIG!  My first ever.

Yes, it’s a cheap but good one from a local games-and-costume store (the kind at which the gang from The Big Bang Theory would buy their games).  I tried on several and chose the one with long, dark brown tresses and bangs.  When I added a pair of tortoise shell glasses (fake–the lenses are clear), I looked seriously different.

I think this disguise-and-stalking stuff might end up being kinda fun after all.  But first I’ve got to try out this wig and different looks and outfits on my friends.  The more I can fool them, the better I’ll get.

BTW, those papers in the leather binder were pages of my screenplay, and as I waited for Cruella’s lecture I edited them.  This weekend I wrote a couple more scenes, and now the story is coming to me more quickly and clearly.  Maybe I’ll finish it after all.

I hope you have a great week. Any literary or stalking plans of your own?

10 Responses to “Wigging Out”

  1. Sorry she never showed up. (You comment about wishing her to be deathly ill made me chuckle.)
    Hope the wig fools your friends. Then you’ll be set for another chance to stalk Cruella.

  2. I have no stalking plans. That’s awesome that you got a wig. You will soon be a master of disguise.

  3. No stalking plans of my own. But this Saturday I speak at a local Sci Fi convention on how to create worlds of wonder in your fantasy and fiction. I intend to give away an autographed Dean Koontz book, FEAR NOTHING, my own FRENCH QUARTER NOCTURNE autographed, a ball cap with Victor and Alice on it, and a framed poster of THE LEGEND OF VICTOR STANDISH. Now, if only 3 people show up to listen to me, I will so red-faced!

  4. Helena says:

    Alex – Who knew that stalking could be fun?

  5. Helena says:

    Michael – I’d have to go to a theatrical supply company to get really good disguise stuff, but who knows? Maybe I’ll get hooked on the game.

  6. Helena says:

    Roland – I hope your speaking and give away at the convention goes spectacularly well! Maybe handing out flyers ahead of time will be good publicity? If I were there I’d go through the crowd while talking loudly about how great Roland Yeomans’ presentation is gonna be. Maybe a friend could do that for you?

  7. Hart Johnson says:

    Aw man! How dare she!? Excellent with the wig. I think there are some challenges with being tall (for both of us) and I’d have trouble as I am also seriously overweight… much as they say fat people can be treated as invisible (like it’s contagious or something) I think it is a more active avoidance. Hard not to be noticed.

  8. Helena says:

    Hart – Hey, if people avoid you it’s because you’re so gorgeous you intimidate them! But yes, tall women stand out a bit much, so changing our faces/ hair/ clothes/ comportment (old-fashioned word) can be good for disguises.

  9. Sounds like you had your bases covered. Maybe next time? And is that a scene from Double Indemnity? Such a fun movie. My wife and I went on a ’40s noir kick last summer and rented a bunch a movies — that was one of them.

  10. Helena says:

    Milo – That was indeed Double Indemnity. I LOVE old noir flicks and comedies from the 30’s and 40’s. I think I remember you once commenting here on My Man Godfrey, which is also one of my faves.