Schools for Ninjas

on February 5, 2010 in Misc

ninjaclass

I’ve just discovered that there’s a school in Colorado for real-life ninja warriors.

I am not making this up. It’s called SWAN which stands for Shadow Warriors Association of Ninjitsu. Seems that these SWAN people run a summer camp in the mountains where they teach “a reality based modern combative system of martial arts” in the “diverse and deadly modern art of the Ninja.”

I believe it’s safe to say that this is a summer camp for grown-ups and not grade school tykes. It’s also not a place for practicing the fun Ninja Warrior show stuff I wrote about in an earlier entry. On the other hand, the website does say that at this place, just as at a kid’s summer camp, you’ll meet new people and make friends “that you’ll remember for a lifetime.” Yes, I’m sure I would remember anyone attempting to stab, strangle, kick, stomp, throw, or pretty much just kill me.

The SWAN courses range from a 5-day to 14-day and ultimately a 30-day “intensive experience” and can include hand-to-hand combat along with “unarmed, stick, knife, and gun disarms coupled with applied stress sparring.” Understandably, such experience doesn’t come cheap and reeks of macho sweat, so I won’t be able to sign up even for the shortest one anytime soon. But for fun, check out their website, which you can find at http://www.ninjitsuwarrior.com/

The site also has a couple interesting articles such as “Surviving Multiple Attackers” and “The Secret of Ninja Stealth Training.” These two alone could really use some editing, but in SWAN members’ defense they don’t offer courses on writing. (PLEASE, guys, stop using stealth as a verb, as in “Stealth to the bathroom at work as quietly as possible.”)

I believe I can go on the record and state that Layla herself might take the 5-day course, but is more likely to concentrate on in-town martial arts classes. In contrast, two of the bad guys in The Compass Master could pretty much run the SWAN camp, and they really wouldn’t care if you had a good time or made friends.

3 Responses to “Schools for Ninjas”

  1. Hart says:

    Oh, come on… go to Ninja camp! I want to hear all about it! I LOVE your statement about remembering all your new BFFs who try to stab and maim you… the experience of a lifetime–I’m sure you’re right *snort*

  2. admin says:

    Did I mention that the 5-day intensive was $1,555? Hey, for that amount I can go on a week-long trip to the Caribbean and FINALLY get certified in scuba diving. Course it’s been years since my lessons so I gotta retake those too, and scuba is part of my Layla to-do list. Not that I wouldn’t pay large amounts to suffer for my art, had I the big bucks to throw around.

  3. Hockessin says:

    Great points…I would note that as someone who really doesn’t write on blogs much (in fact, this may be my first post), I don’t think the term “lurker” is very flattering to a non-posting reader. It’s not your fault really , but perhaps the blogosphere could come up with a better, non-creepy name for the 90% of us that enjoy reading the posts.