Swords and Cars

on December 1, 2009 in Misc

Epee fencing is not for wusses.


Last week in fencing I got a painful bruise on my left butt exactly where that sharp bone sticks out (WHY do I keep hitting that sucker?), a sore left hand, a jacked left knee and a re-injured muscle at the base of my neck.  All because I was retreating too quickly from my oncoming opponent, which made me stumble and fall backwards onto said left buttock, which made me fling my left hand out to break my fall, which jammed my neck and knee.

But the good news is…

While falling backwards I hit my opponent right in his chest and got a point.  Yes, he still went on to win the match.  But I was determined to get him even though I was careening toward the floor and that impressed him.  It certainly impressed me.

Anyway, by the end of the evening I was looking forward to the next week’s matches when I would strive yet again to fence better and cleaner.  But that’s not gonna happen for a while.  The reason?

My car has died.

Yes, my poor old Toyota Tercel (a.k.a., the Nerdmobile) has developed a terminal illness in the form of a cracked engine head and a fuel injector problem, and if the mechanic had kept looking no doubt he would have found more doozies.  The result is I am now car-less – no big deal for the time being, given that I take the bus to work and live in the city where pretty much everything is within walking distance.

Except for fencing.

Hence it appears that — damn it all! — I’ll likely drop out of fencing until sometime in January because I don’t see myself lining up a good inexpensive used car before then.

You know, my first two cars were used while three and four were new.  So yes, this is regression, but given the economy and my Layla plan which is using up all my discretionary funds (I have become very indiscreet), I gotta go cheap on my next car.

Action heroes don’t have this problem.  In thriller books and movies they drive outrageously expensive supercool sportscars.  They whiz through adventures in vehicles of roaring, gleaming, wind racing speed that make grown men moan with desire and teenage boys have wet dreams. Layla, being more down to earth, has a Jeep Wrangler that has traveled many an exotic mile across Europe and North Africa as she pursues rare antiquities hidden in treacherous places, and that’s way cool too.

Me?  I gotta get a used compact or subcompact.

I swear that sometime soon I’m going to make my life and its accessories so beautifully exotic I’ll be an object of envy.


Yes I know — this is a shallow, immature, unworthy goal for me.

Like I care.

3 Responses to “Swords and Cars”

  1. Robert L. Read says:

    A car can be a part of a spy’s cover. If a spy’s disguise is to be a millionaire playboy to get into Monte Carlo, then he needs a Ferrari, but the same car would make other covers impossible.

    If you’re pretending to be a struggling novelist, then a clunker seems like a good cover to me—that’s why I drive mine.

  2. admin says:

    You’re right. That means I’ve perfected my cover as a struggling artist! But for once I’d love to have the cover of an enormously successful adventurer.
    And as for parkour — I hope you succeed splendidly at the crazy sport. It’s amazing how much stronger you feel after a session, and when a fellow student asks you for advice and to show you how a certain trick is done, you definitely feel cool.

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