Ode to Me As Lara Croft

on February 1, 2011 in Misc

Lara Croft is who I should be,
Very wealthy and sexy and free.
I would live in a castle,
And have no greater hassle
Than to rescue the world before tea.

For adventures I’d fight and get grungy
With a gun and a knife and a bungee.
I would solve ancient mysteries
And rewrite their histories
While evading guys big, bad, and mangy.

For a lover I’d take Daniel Craig
Who in Raider Croft treats like the plague.
I would make him get naked
And do nothing sacred…
But here I had better get vague.

Still, Lara and I aren’t the same.
She’s a lady, while I’m just a dame
With a regular job
A mere face in the mob
Without glamour or romance or fame.

But this doesn’t mean that I’m bitter,
As a matter of fact I’m no quitter.
I’ve got a grand plan
To be all that I can
I just won’t have Craig cash or glitter.

8 Responses to “Ode to Me As Lara Croft”

  1. ann says:

    I love it!! I grinned and laughed through the entire poem. Its so clever and creative.

  2. Robert L. Read says:


  3. Helena says:

    Robert — Thanks!

  4. Helena says:

    Ann — Stay warm in Chicago!

  5. Ciara Knight says:

    Lara Croft is my fave heroine. Imagine her with swords and you have the heroine of my adult fantasy. :) Great poem!! Loved it!!!!

  6. Helena says:

    Ciara – I definitely want to read your adult fantasy. Yet another reason to follow your blog.

  7. Rich says:

    Aw but glitter and cash are a shell game,
    And a man may your heart quickly enflame,
    But they’ll cost you your soul,
    And you’ll lose all control
    Wild adventure must be your true endgame.

    Love the Poem, Layla….er Lena :-)

  8. Helena says:

    Rich — I love it! And I am so gonna think of a poem to say right back at ya.