Stealth Invasion

on July 16, 2010 in Misc

First of all, I’M BACK!

If you tried to get into this website this morning, you may have noticed that it didn’t come up.  Instead there was just a filler page.  Turns out my blog was up for renewal so I had to pay a bill and click a few buttons.   SO glad it’s back up (I was in a royal panic because I thought my blog baby was permanently lost).

Anyway, onwards and upwards with my current entry, which concerns…

A couple small problems with my latest Layla plan.

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You know the one I’m talking about – how I want to make some kind of security breach. Get into a place I don’t belong, leave my calling card, and get out undetected.

The first problem is pretty basic:  I DON”T HAVE ANY TIME!

Pulling off a stunt like that – even in a humble way on my first try – takes some planning.  It means scoping out the environment, checking people’s routines, learning when the place will be open or locked up.

None of this is hard to do.  But finding the time while working full time and generally just having a life means it’ll probably take me a couple weeks to pull off something noteworthy, or at least something worth telling you about.

Then there’s the second problem:  I KNOW PEOPLE WHO’VE ALREADY DONE SOME REALLY COOL SECURITY BREACHES.

And if I want to get any respect from them, I’ve got to top them.

In her comment on my last entry, Hart suggested getting into a country club (Check out her great blog, CONFESSIONS OF A WATERY TART).   That’s a great idea, especially since there are a couple of very snooty and fiendishly expensive ones in the Denver metro area.  The complication?

My brother already did that.  Worse yet, he was only teenager at the time. And he snuck in more times than he could count.

golf elk

It was all very innocent.  He and a friend simply treated the golf course as a personal park.  They’d climb over the fence, hang out around the trees where no one could see them, enjoy the scenery and the fact that they were in a place that was off limits.  Being teenage boys, they probably figured they could outrun anyone who might find them.

One day they were hidden by those trees and bushes when a golf ball came bouncing down over the hill and landed near them.  The golfers weren’t yet in sight.  My brother grabbed the ball, ran to the nearest golf hole or whatever it’s called, and dropped the ball into it.  Then he ran back to the hiding place.

Moment later a few men appeared.  They looked everywhere for that ball.  Couldn’t find it.  Finally one of them peered into green’s hole and started shouting for joy.  He’d gotten a hole in one! He couldn’t believe it!  He was ecstatic!  It was the highlight of all his years at the sport!

Of course my brother and his friend stayed out of sight and tried not to laugh too loud.  Hence to this day some poor happy schmuck out there thinks he had a genuine hole in one.  He’s probably still boasting about his feat.

Now do you understand my dilemma?  I have to top a stunt like that.  Damn.

4 Responses to “Stealth Invasion”

  1. Ben says:

    Hahahaha! Your brother’s trick is awesome! I used to be a golf caddy at a fancy golf place when I was younger, so I know the ins and outs of the course. The best place to break into would bet the place where they lock up all the member’s bags. All the other fancier rooms might have security. But, the bag room was just a garage with golf bags in it assorted by numbers.
    You can totally do this! Just make sure to double check and make sure they don’t have a security system.

  2. Helena says:

    Ben – You have the making of a top criminal mind. Or the instincts of a thriller novelist.

  3. Hart says:

    Excellent! I love that as a prank! Though it does make it harder to one-up someone who has done such things. My husband grew up across the street from a golf course (not a fancy one, but hey)–he and his friends used to jump the fence and the second hole and play 8 rounds for free pretty regularly. It’s the sort of thing teens do.

    Just the idea of ‘casing a place’ seems spyish to me… I suppose it depends on how fancy a place and how far IN you get…

    Good luck though, figuring out what you want to do!

  4. Helena says:

    Hart — Isn’t it crazy what teens can get away with? Once you’re a woman of a “certain age,” you’re expected to act with more restraint. And that’s no fun.