Archive for April 8th, 2013

Psycho Kitty

on April 8, 2013 in Misc 16 Comments »

My cat has what I call “Psycho Kitty” moments.  And I’ve never read about the phenomenon in any novel.

See, most of the time Kelly Kel is a typical middle-aged cat:  she can’t be bothered with vigorous play and spends her time sleeping or ambling around.  Bored coolness is her game.

Yet almost every night when my place is peaceful, this calm cat will suddenly TEAR OUT OF THE BEDROOM LIKE A FREAKING MANIAC and RIP THROUGH the living room and under the Parson’s bench and over the Thai pillows on the floor and up onto the top of the ratty old armchair dubbed the cat’s chair where she SCRATCHES THE HELL OUT OF THE STUFFING and then she LEAPS OFF and bounds away back into the darkness of the bedroom…

…And a minute later she plods slowly back into the living room and looks around as if bored again.

Maybe it’s a cat’s version of bipolar disorder.  Or momentary devil possession.

Trouble is, my former kitty (Squeaky, R.I.P.) had the same bizarro habit. I’ve also seen some dogs in their PK moments.  That means it will suddenly start CHASING ITS TAIL or JUMP UP and RUN AROUND THE HOUSE OR YARD in a frantic and gleeful chase of an imaginary SQUIRREL SQUIRREL SQUIRREL or because it’s so FREAKING HAPPY TO SEE YOU even if you only went out to the grocery store.  It’s like this burst of pure, uninhibited animal emotion that’s pretty harmless and funny and seems to act like a safety valve.  The kind of safety valve that maybe some of us humans could use.

So here’s the thing about PK and books…

I can’t think of any fiction where the Psycho Kitty phenomenon occurs.  There are descriptions all over the Internet and funny photos, but no crazy cats popping up in novels.  For dogs, there’s Stephen King’s Cujo, which I haven’t read, but I know the St. Bernard in it is just flat-out psychotic and not in a cute way.

Non-fiction about dogs can describe PK – think of the bestseller Marley and Me in which the namesake pooch has wild PK moments over and over, and readers loved that book so much they bought approximately 200 million copies.  But a true story about a cat that suddenly goes apeshit in a funny way?  Doesn’t seem to exist in short stories or books.

So now I’m starting to wonder… I know I’m not the only person who’s had cats afflicted with Psycho Kitty, but what if there’s something about me that can repeatedly drive a feline over a mental cliff like a lemming on a bungee cord?  What if I happen to be a magnet for crazy animals?

Please tell me you have bizarro pet moments too…