Archive for March 4th, 2013

OMG I finally finished all major edits of Charity MacCay and the Almighty Dollar.

I am so tired.

But oh, I also feel so good.

I mean, my novel isn’t completely ready for print.  I’ll have to go back through it a couple times for nit-picky copy editing and proofing.  But really, after such a long hard haul and readings by several friends, it’s virtually FINISHED. Hallelujah.

The down side is, I now have to edit its sequel, Charity MacCay and Holy Relations.  And I want to publish these two books within weeks of each other.  Buy hey, I’ll worry about that later.

You know why I finished my edits today?  Because I woke up this Sunday morning thinking about my failures, and one of them was the way I’ve allowed so many tasks and projects to drag out seemingly forever.  I mean, I wrote my Charity books before writing The Compass Master.  But in my usual insecure way, I kept feeling that they needed more edits, more historical research, more rewrites, more feedback.  Because nothing I write is ever quite GOOD ENOUGH!

So I got out of bed and did some daily stuff and by the afternoon I was sitting down with the final chapters of my hard copy and then I parked myself in front of my computer to insert the changes and I didn’t get up until I was FINISHED.

Did I get outside at all?  Oh, sure. I made a quick trip to the grocery store this evening where I wondered how all the money that had been in my wallet vanished even though I had no fun this weekend.  But that was okay, because I felt lighter and happier.  Doesn’t it feel great when you’re near the end of a long, scary dark tunnel and the bright light you see is not an oncoming train?

So my day ended okay, especially since it began by waking up to guilt and nasty little whispers of depression.  Does that happen to any of you?  Waking up, maybe from dreams you can’t remember, with nagging doubts and guilt and regrets or wondering what might have been or all the things you should have done.  And then the only way to feel better is to throw yourself into whatever is bugging you, and in the end the hard work is worth it.

Have a great week.  And sweet awakenings.