Archive for September 10th, 2012


There’s a traffic light camera I want to take out.  Take out as in smash it to smithereens.

It’s one of those automated cameras set up at busy crossroads that flashes a bright, distracting beam if you run a just-turning-red light.  Or as in my case, when you stop for the red light but not quite perfectly because your front tires are just over the white line.  Which is still considered a traffic violation so you get a $75 fine.

This is what happened to me a few months ago.  Ever since then, when I stop at that intersection I coldly study the two dark, evil-looking camera poles placed on two of the corners.  I assess how easy it would be to reach up to the bottom-most lights on them and with a hammer slam their glasses into tiny fragments.  Or spray-paint them into uselessness.  Or maybe stand across the street and shoot them out with an arrow (when my aim gets better and I can afford a good bow).  Of course I would only be able to do this in the middle of the night.  And I’d have to use gloves so that I don’t leave any fingerprints.

This may sound twisted, but nailing down the details of this fantasy makes me happy.

Remember when I talked in this blog about the noisy-as-hell neighbors across the street, the ones who had LOUD parties at all hours?  In that case too I fantasized about revenge-like vandalism.  Then those neighbors moved away.  Everyone in the neighborhood sang songs of joy.  Yet much as I too was relieved, I was also a little sad. I mean, I had wanted to DO something to those sleep wrecking party people.  Something admittedly childish but also aggressive and like nothing I’ve ever done.  Hell, I WANTED TO BREAK THE LAW!

That’s one of the problems with growing up as a Good Girl.  I did plenty of adventurous stuff, but I was always law-abiding. So what do I do as an adult?  I create characters like Layla Daltry or Charity MacCay, women who can’t be bothered with laws that stand in the way of what they want.

You know what?  I really, truly want to know what that’s like.  I even suspect that these small revenge fantasies I have are, in a way, baby steps I should take in order to move on to something much bigger and bolder.  Of course, if I go ahead and act on any of law-breaking fantasies I won’t be able to write about them here, which is kind of ironic.  But maybe that would be good for me.  No writing, just living.

I suspect a lot of you writers have your own secrets you’d like to live out.  Am I right?