Archive for November 5th, 2010


Bashed Up Beauty

on November 5, 2010 in Misc 6 Comments »

I have a couple of stitches on the edge of my upper lip.

Just two of ‘em, but they’re black and ugly and one thread in the knot hangs down far enough that can I feel it with my tongue when I’m eating.  Gross.  When people ask me what happened I tell them I cut myself shaving (har har).

If Layla ever has stitches it’s because she gets into a dust-up with some bad guy.  Or maybe she fell while climbing around some place in the dark.  Whatever the reason, it would be glamorous.

Me?  I get sewn up because the dermatologist wanted to cut out some “thickening tissue” and do a biopsy on it.

A few months ago I saw her because a red, flaky patch on the right edge of my upper lip wouldn’t go away.  Turns out it was actinin keratosis, which is pre-cancerous so she advised freezing it off.  Have you ever had a ten-second blast of nitrogen aerosol on the edge of your lip?  HOLY SHIT IT HURTS!  And my lip really didn’t look so good afterwards.  At work I sent an email to co-workers explaining that, contrary to my appearance, I did not have an STD.

When the small red thickening wouldn’t completely vanish, I went back to the doc.  Sure enough, I soon find myself trying not to SCREAM as a nurse injects a numbing drug into my lip edge, after which the doc does her cutting and sewing.  At the worst, she figures I have squamous cell skin cancer, which ain’t nothing to worry about.  But for the next week, I’ve got black stitches on my lip.  Don’t I look lovely.

What is it with my face?  Why does it keep getting bashed up in the most unglamorous ways?

The only other time I’ve had stitches was (of course!) in my face.  I was still flying trapeze at the time and goofing around with fellow flyers on a trampoline when I slammed my knee off my forehead.  Seven stitches above my left eyebrow.  When I was younger I had maxillofacial (jaw) surgery.  For a couple months afterwards I looked like I’d been hit by a truck.  After my cataract surgery I had bruised eyes that made me look like I’d been in a nasty fight.  In high school and college I had surgery on the (non-working) air passages in my nose.  I looked like hell afterwards.

I swear fate just plain picks on my poor face.

Why can’t it be my ass or thighs that get injured?  They’re big and tough.  They can take some punishment.  But no, it’s my face that gets bashed up with sad regularity.

Anyway, thanks for listening to me vent.  From now on, I’m toughening up and so is my face.

Now back to being Action Woman.